But, hey, who needs talking when you can shout, eat ice cream, kick a football about and witness a shark attack, all without having irate librarians berate you? And all this on a Sunday morning, when most of the participants are more typically asleep? Oh yes!

Conceived as OFU’s first short film for nigh on 25 years, Jaws In The Library (working title) played havoc with student sleep patterns and normal library taboos alike. The early start at the hideously unsociable time of 9:30am on a Sunday morning was well made up for by the chance to get up to otherwise frown-worthy "antics" in the library and to produce what may well be considered the finest piece of experimental cinema the university has ever seen. But then, to be honest, the university has not seen very much experimental cinema.

The story is essentially a tale of love between one girl and a large inflatable fish, which is all perfectly normal; at least, it is all perfectly normal in the warped mind of OFU’s chief writer and storyboard artist James Dibley. But the concept started out rather differently. Having filmed a number of documentaries and animations, all shot on 16mm film, OFU decided to make a spoof of Jaws. This decision was inspired by one of OFU’s films from the early 1970s. Called Enter The Newt, it was a bizarre parody of a certain famous martial arts film, featuring the lost Japanese fighting technique of "Origami", amongst others.

Under the quirky authorship of Andy Gale, the Jaws plot took shape: a shark assault on a poor, defenceless girl who, rather than swimming in the sea as might be traditional in a shark attack scene, happened to be reading a book in a library. Meanwhile came the potentially tricky problem of persuading the manager of the library to allow OFU to shoot the film in the building outside of normal opening hours. Fortunately, he was quite keen on the idea and agreed to open it early on a Sunday. "A morning in bed with The Archers and a paper just can’t compete with a shark in the library," he said.

While work progressed on the storyboard, another problem cropped up: how to persuade people to act in the film. In particular, producer David Abbott found a distinctly hostile reaction to his recruitment technique, which was to wander drunk around the Union at FNO, asking random women if they would star in a film wearing only a swimming costume. Eventually, a compromise was reached with several very brave volunteers agreeing to participate.

Shooting of the film was carefully planned in advance to make the best possible use of the unique opportunity available and, despite an initial snag (when the storyboard artist presented several new pages of material just moments before filming began), everything ran extremely smoothly, with the team relishing their roles on a "real" film project. Director David Turner, better known as "Mad Scottish Dave", clearly relished his job as the film’s director, managing to create incredible levels of subtlety in an otherwise one-dimensional plot. The three volunteer actors also threw themselves whole-heartedly into their roles and it became clear at an early stage in the proceedings that the finished movie would be a strong Oscar contender next year.

With time and filmstock both in limited supply, the ending to the film was hurriedly re-written to incorporate a surreal twist in the plot. While this process was going on, the Second Unit Director (Sami Sarkardei) and Props Manager (Jayne Elliott) took the opportunity to interview Eddie the shark for the "Making Of" documentary, which will be a major feature on the DVD release of the film.

All the necessary footage was in the can just in time and several students waiting on the steps outside the library were bemused to see a gaggle of filmmakers emerge from the building just before opening time, complete with camera, floodlights, surfboard and shark.

The film is currently in post-production and will be shown before one of OFU’s films later in the semester and at a major film festival near you...

OFU would like to take this opportunity to thank Robert Hall, for giving up The Archers; the three volunteer actors, for willing to be excessively silly in ridiculous clothing, all in the name of art; Chops for the loan of a surfboard, complete with genuine sand; and the residents of 48 University Court, who have been unable to wash for a week due to the various items of film equipment being stored in the bath.